God’s Perfect Plan
“So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” —Matthew 19:6
I saw her studying in the far corner of the Washington State University library. It was January—finals week, just before my final semester of college. Hoping to make contact, I posted myself near the card catalog and waited.
Not normally at a loss for words, I could barely speak as she innocently approached.
“Uh…hi. What’re ya studying?”
A radiant, knowing smile. Thoughtful, understanding eyes.
I do not remember the rest of our conversation—not even her name.
My friend Steve’s girlfriend knew her well. “Hey, ask Aime if she and her friend would like to go out for a beer after studying.”
She said yes!
We met at the Corner Club. Behaving like a nervous teenage boy, Cindy laughed, pointed at me and announced, “This guy is crazy.”
I certainly became crazy about her.
I found every possible opportunity to be with Cindy through my remaining college days, up to the moment she saw me off at the airport in July. I was bound for Chicago to begin my career in the hospitality industry.
On the plane, I opened the note she had given me. I could not finish it. Other passengers might see my tears.
After settling into the Hyatt, I made my first phone call. I had to hear her voice.
“Hey, Babe. How’s Chicago?”
I had to work through the lump in my throat before I could respond.
On a windy Sunday in October, while I was working brunch, our general manager, Claus Reinke, walked over and whispered, “She’s waiting for you in the lobby…wow!”
Cindy had arrived.
I was a management trainee with no money. Punchinello’s Pizza was halfway between the hotel and my small studio apartment. Over deep-dish pizza and a glass of wine, my romantically awkward proposal tumbled out:
“Well…do you want to get married, or what?”
Her honest eyes opened wide. She paused, drew a breath and answered, “Well…yes.”
In February, little more than a year after I posted myself beside that card catalog—and was declared crazy at the Corner Club—we were married.
That was more than fifty years ago.
“It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” —Genesis 2:18
God knew it was not good for Adam—or for me—to be alone. He created woman, equally bearing His image: not subordinate or secondary, but a strong, corresponding companion. A trusted partner uniquely equipped to share life, offer strength and speak truth in love.
For me, her name was Cindy.
God’s design is perfect. I am not.
We began our marriage in Chicago. Four months later came Orlando, followed by Nashville, Dallas, Indianapolis and Detroit—eventually ten different cities.
As my career prospered, Cindy faithfully followed. I often moved ahead while she remained behind, caring for every detail of each move. Then she would arrive and search for employment in another unfamiliar city, because I left her alone while I worked twelve-hour days—dutifully, even proudly.
I told myself I was providing for my family. Too often, I was pursuing position.
Pride, ambition, titles, authority and temptation gradually obscured what mattered most. Deep down, I knew it. Yet I thrived on it. Like Adam, I hid:
Once I reach the next level, I’ll slow down.
I became married to my career, threatening the marriage vows, wife, family and God’s plan.
“Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God…and they hid from the Lord God… But the Lord God called to the man, ‘Where are you?’”
—Genesis 3:8–9
God’s question to Adam eventually became His question to me:
Brent, where are you?
Years later, sitting with an Atlanta pastor and marriage counselor, I looked at Cindy. She was even more beautiful than the young woman I had first seen in the library. She still had that thoughtful smile and those knowing eyes—although now I could see sadness in them.
Our counselor commended our willingness to seek help rather than hide, deny and blame. Then came a compelling question:
“So, Brent, what is it you are looking for?”
Like light piercing darkness, the answer became clear. I looked across at Cindy.
“Her.”
Everything I truly desired was sitting before me.
Like Adam, I had hidden from truth and responsibility. My prideful pursuit of position, power and pleasure had obscured what mattered most. Yet beside me sat the woman I had once pursued at the card catalog—the life and love for which I truly longed.
I once believed leading my family meant advancing, achieving and providing. Jesus revealed something radically different:
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” —Ephesians 5:25
God’s design was perfect. My priorities were not. I needed to surrender my selfish lust of adoration and achievement and learn the selfless love and sacrifice modeled by Jesus.
My pursuit of artificial happiness had nearly deprived me of authentic joy. Temporary titles and circumstantial authority had threatened the lasting gift of true love, found through the truth, trust and God’s amazing grace – a grace that never abandons us.
More than fifty years after waiting beside that card catalog, I’m grateful to look across our family and glimpse what I could not possibly have imagined then. God blessed us with two wonderful children and two beautiful granddaughters—three generations through which His love may be nurtured and passed along.
“Children’s children are a crown to the aged.” —Proverbs 17:6
I could not have imagined the pure joy of being called “Grandpa”—holding two small hands and seeing God’s goodness through the innocent, adoring eyes of Hannah and Liv.
Nor could I have imagined the quiet intimacy of reaching over to hold Grandma’s hand; waking together each morning, cradling cups of coffee, grateful for another day, joyfully reflecting on our long journey together, side by side, through the seasons of life.
After more than fifty years, I still find myself staring at her. I see the girl in the library, now even more beautiful. I am more deeply in love and infinitely more grateful for God’s patient plan, His persevering grace, and His perfect gift.
Everything I was searching for had been before me all along—first beside a card catalog in the Washington State University library and now alongside me at home, for every remaining day of our lives:
“Until death do us part.”
Her name is Cindy.
“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
—Ephesians 5:21
“Every good and perfect gift is from above.” —James 1:17